About this app

Welcome to is Impossible Castle... You are not worthy. Seriously. You should leave now. Don't try this game. I don't know what you think this game is, but it's not a game for noobs, and it will haunt your dreams. It may look like a friendly old platform game, it may bring up feelings of nostalgia and your childhood, but you're being misled. This is not an easy game. This is not a fair game. This is not a game for the weak or the feeble. This is Impossible Castle.


So here's how it works, all you have to do is survive your way through each stage and reach the finish line. Your high score is just how many levels you beat. It has nothing to do with how many coins you get or power ups you grab, how many baddies you squash or how fast you run. Nothing matters, except how far you get. Sounds easy, right? It ain't. Though many have tried Level 1, few have survived it. Only a couple have ever witnessed the end of Level 2. Legend has it, a gamer once played all night, and with the perfect mix of junk food and sleep deprivation managed to beat Level 3. Level 4 is impossible. And Level 5...? Level 5 is the stuff of myth and legend; many doubt that it even exists...

So try if you want, but play at your own peril. A score of 1 means you suck. A score of 2 means you're awesome. A score of 3 entitles you to glory and riches. And a score of 4 or more means you're lying about your score.

More rules? More instructions? Fine...

HOW TO PLAY:

*To jump tap or hold the right side of the screen. To go left, tap or hold the left side of the screen. You can even press both to jump left!

*To go right, do nothing. If that's too hard for you, that's embarrassing

*Every life comes with a death sentence. In 15 seconds, you will die, unless you grab a coin or power up, or squash a baddie. Doing so puts your timer back to 15. Not hard to do, but I'm sure you'll forget

*You get 10 coins when you pass the finish line of a level... don't let it go to your head

*100 coins will earn you an extra life, but trust me, you'll never get one

*Levels get longer and harder the farther you get in the game, have fun with that

*Levels constantly change so good luck trying to learn the patterns

*To turn the difficulty down play a different game

*There are no continues

New features

*** JET PACKS ***
Alright you babies, here's a power up. Strap a rocket to your back and after jumping you can tap the screen to hover briefly, giving you some slim chance (maybe) of passing a level (finally). If you get hit you'll lose your jet pack (you will) but hell, we'll give it back to you if you pass the level.
*** 5 LIVES ***
Watching you die is amusing. So amusing we want to see it happen more. Hence, we're giving you 5 lives instead of 3. Don't waste 'em!

App Permissions

Allows applications to open network sockets.
Allows applications to access information about networks.