Cow Farts Varies with device

Reviews

5 ★, on 2018-10-14
I was in a dark place before I found this game. I lost my job at the grocery store after finding out my wife was sleeping with the butcher. My wife left me shortly thereafter, saying she liked his meat better than mine. I was given custody of the kids on weekends, but they, too, said the butchers meat was better than mine. I started drinking and in a drunken fit of despair, decided to drive my car to my ex-wife's new condo and tell her it was all okay and I forgave her. 10 minutes later I was wrapped around a tree with a stranger pulling me out of the smashed windshield. He propped me against the only standing section of fence that was left, and pulled out a thermos full of Campbell's cream of leek soup. It was a bit burnt, but I didn't care. He asked me what I was thinking. Why I was out driving. Said he could smell the whiskey the moment he pulled over. I told him what happened with my wife. How my life had come crashing down around me and I was going back to try and grasp at the tatters. There was a silence. I could see him contemplating my words, deeper than any other had before. He opened his mouth, to say something, but then closed it suddenly. His stare was intense - it made me feel emotionally naked. He could see through my story, to the core of who I was. In that moment, I knew that he saw more in me than I knew myself. "SAY SOMETHING!" I yelled. I closed my eyes as they welled with tears. When I opened them he was gone. I looked all around but saw only the rustling leaves and the steam rising from the hood of my wrecked car. Then I heard it - a voice in the wind. "Download cow farts - the hit App". I don't normally respond to advertising, but something told me this was different. I opened my phone and downloaded the game, opening myself fully to it, emotionally and spiritually. Within the first 15 seconds I could feel my woes evaporating. The cops showed up a few minutes later and administered a breathalyzer to me. They told me I'd be going away for a long time, but that didn't matter. I found myself in cow farts - a piece of me that I didn't know existed. I write this review bent over the bed in my cell, with my cell mate Jamal behind me, taking me to a world I never thought I'd know again.