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Sweet 16 Dresses: A Guide for Parents and Daughters

Celebrations that require formal or semi-formal dress are particularly prone to this kind of disagreement. The Sweet 16 celebration is a classic example. For many parents, it is the Sweet 16 dress that marks a daughter’s transition from tomboy to young woman. All of society’s mixed messages about the sexualization of young women come to a head as parents and daughters argue and wheedle and compromise in pursuit of the perfect dress.

Be Prepared to Be Flexible

For both parents and teenagers, the key to avoiding discord when choosing a Sweet 16 dress is to enter into the selection process with an open mind.

Parents, you must remember that styles and tastes vary. They change from generation to generation. What was considered inappropriate for your generation may be perfectly common and appropriate for your daughter and her friends.

Teenagers are exposed to a media environment that is saturated with hyper-sexualized imagery, and many of the fashions available to them reflect the style choices of idols and icons. The influence of media fashion is apparent to anyone who glances at the dresses on sale at the local mall.

At the same time, young women have more freedom to express themselves stylistically than ever before. Navigating one’s way through these choices is a big part of coming of age, exerting independence and finding one’s personal style.

Instead of focusing on specific attributes that they consider inappropriate, parents should try to help their teenage daughters think about the overall balance of a look. Try not to set rules about hemlines, necklines, cut-outs and sheer panels. Instead, engage your daughter in a discussion of the overall impression she wants to make.

While you will never convince a teenager that a skirt is too short, you may very well be able to convince her that a short skirt looks classier and contributes more to her personal style when paired with a top that has sleeves instead of a bare midriff.

If your sartorial game is not the best match for the job, enlist a friend whose style both you and your daughter admire. Or ask for help from one of the personal shoppers at your local department store. No one knows what is in style better than someone who helps dozens of teens select dresses every week.

Encourage your daughter to be open-minded. If she knows exactly what she wants before she walks into the store, she may miss out on a dress that would be perfect. Set aside enough shopping time for her to try lots of options.

Being open-minded while shopping is more than a good way to find an unexpectedly perfect Sweet 16 dress. It’s also a habit that will yield good results through your daughter’s adult life. Your Sweet 16 dress-shopping adventure can be a learning experience instead of a conflict if you approach it right. She’ll remember what she learned on this shopping expedition someday when she sets out to find the perfect wedding dress.

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